Life in Focus

Notes:
1. The word “his” is used throughout this article mainly for simplification. This article is directed at both genders and is not gender biased.
2. All names appearing in this article are fictitious.

Few years ago I bought a digital camera to document my life and family. My nephew Gilad, visiting on his summer holiday, took possession over it in five minutes. He was 12 years old, just before his Bar-Mitzvah.

I tried talking him into studying the manual carefully before operating it, but to no avail. He was so eager to start filming nothing could have dissuaded him off his target.

Few hours passed and Gilad came back from the yard. Studying the manual, we quickly connected the camera to the VCR to watch the results. Not surprisingly, we found most of the shots to be blurred and out of focus, merely because Gilad was not aware that he had to adjust the camera viewfinder focus to his eye.

The Mitzvoth (comandments and rules of behaviours appearing in the bible) are no less than A Manual to Life. One can live ignoring them, or exercising some, but the outcome will be “life out-of-focus” resulting in “Where did this evil come from? ”

A child is born without the concept of Good and Bad. Slapping a fellow child in kindergarten may bear the same value as giving him an apple until taught otherwise by his parents, nurse or society.

Alas, life is extremely complicated and as we grow up situations and questions we face become more difficult and demanding. We need the manual!

Let us look briefly at the Mitzvah that is perhaps most commonly ignored: “Mitzvat Isur Leshon Hara” – forbidding the “Evil Tongue”, or in it’s most common shape, slandering.

Scene one:
It’s lunch time. We are located at the water cooler area in a big corporation kitchenette. Mr. Brown is drawing Ms. White’s attention to the appalling taste Mr. Black is showing in choosing his ties (trying to win her attention to the splendid taste he is showing in his choice of ties…). Slandering is in progress…

Let us learn:
Hebrew: “Ein da'var ka'she meel'shon ha'ra she'ho're'get shlo'sha” .
Translation: There's nothing worse than slandering, which kills three (people).
The three people are: The slanderer – Mr. Brown, the listener – Ms. White, and the person the comment was referring to – Mr. Black. Let’s see how it affects each one of our heroes.

The slanderer – Mr. Brown.
Newton's 3rd law of motion clearly states: “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”. We also know that the world is being conducted by Mida Keneged Mida (Hebrew), i.e. measure for measure. For example, in Parashat Beshalach we learn of the Egyptians who first drowned all the Jews first-born, and later they themselves drowned in the Red Sea.

The laws of the universe are true both in the physical and the metaphysical realms. Every action we take creates a certain “energy”. Words are a beautiful example: We can make someone laugh, smile, cry, angry, sad; our words have energy to them moving the other person emotions.

Words of scorn have a negative energy imbedded. Once one gives birth to such words and omits them one becomes the rightful owner of this energy. And as the rightful owner, shouldn’t one retrieve what was his in the fist place? And so, he will!

The person who heard it – Ms. White.
When we let words leave our mouth we should always be aware of the energy they carry. Negative words carry negative energy, and although Ms.WHite may react with laughter (could be either a defense mechanism, embarrassment or other), the negative influence is making its way through her psych. In this case her relations with Mr. Black are affected. From that moment she cannot address him in a clear and pure way – or address Mr. Brown with respect in case ‘she is on Mr. Black’s side’. She bears a secret - a small one but still - that disables hers from relating to Mr. Black with oppeness and respect. And most probably, she will avoid eye contact with him, gazing at his ties…

The person the comment was referring to – Mr. Black.
Mr. Black in our case was deeply affected. His relation with Mr. Brown and with Ms. White will not be the same. The feeling between him and the two others will be distorted, becoming ‘not clean’. Most probably he would feel their scorn, resulting in a negative chain of events.

When Old Hillel was asked to explain the whole Torah in one phrase he said: “Veahavta Lereacha Kamocha” (Hebrew): Love your acquaintance as you love yourself.

Loving the Other as you love yourself, seeing the divine spark in his/her soul and respecting him/her, will not allow words of unkindness.

In addition, this phrase can be interpreted differently. “Love your ‘Bad’ as you love yourself”. Acknowledge the ‘bad’ parts within yourself. Once awareness is there, these bad parts can be turned into positive energy in a process over time, as in "Tzadik Katamar Yifrach" - the rightous person will flourish like a palm tree - turning salt water into sweet water.

When one knows one's “Bad” side one can control it and transform it to “Good” over time.

When Mr. Brown said those words to Ms. White, his remark came from a narcissistic way of self-comprehension. He had put himself before Mr. Black and not on the same level. He has broken the essence of the Torah: “Veahavta Lereacha Kamocha” - Lova your acquaintance as you love yourself.

Exercising the Mitzvah (the rule) of "Guarding one’s tongue", like keeping other Mitvoth, is a big step towards relating to the other with the same love to one’s self, resulting in a much better, clean and pure dialogue, a more harmonious being, and in short, Life in Focus! Try It, You’ll Love it!

All Rights Reserved Micha Kovler - micha@kabala.org 2004 - 2005